Apparently you're "too old" to date at 32 👵

… said the 45-year-old man.

This might be one of the most insulting dating stories I’ve ever collected — and trust me, I’ve got a few....

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So, let's get into Story #3...

So there I was...

Living in Bali, chatting with this man on Bumble who definitely seemed… older.

I couldn’t tell how much older, though—because the age on his profile was hidden. (Red flag #1.)

We messaged for a few days.

He was charming enough that when he asked to move the convo to WhatsApp, I said sure. Then things got weird...

He sends me a photo of himself—alone at a bar, listening to an audiobook. Kinda random. But in the photo, it was glaringly obvious: this man had botox.

Not like, a little botox. No, this was “I just had my forehead frozen last Thursday” level botox.

And look—I know it’s a double standard, but I was immediately ick-ed. It wasn’t hot. It was giving divorced real estate agent turned aspiring DJ.

So I stepped back from the conversation.

Didn’t reply. Which, of course, made him try harder.

Over the next day, he sent an unsolicited collection of hotel tour vidoes, where he said “gee whiz” unironically, used "jeepers creepers"in a sentence and ranted about how thrilled he was that there were “no Australians” around. 

So I asked him straight up: “How old are you?”

He replies: “45.”

Which at this point is a shock because between the vocabulary and the Botox—I would’ve guessed 60.

But still...I was out. 

I wanted to let him down gently, So I said:

“I think you’re really cute and lovely, but the age difference is just a bit too much for me.”

Now watch this transformation...

This man, who had been sweet, complimentary, and asking me out, immediately flipped.

He replies:

“Yeah that’s fine. You’re old for me anyway.”

Ya'll, I was thirty-two!!! Still a baby! 

I replied: “Ew.” 

His response: 
“After 32 girls start getting bitchy. I prefer someone more fun and carefree. Good luck.”

Excuse me?? I am 13 years YOUNGER than you and you still think thats "old"? YOU ARE GROSS, SIR.

What an old perv, right? 

Unfortunately, this idiot would not be the last old man to call me old (that story coming in a future email).  

Because the reality it this: 

One of the most exhausting parts of dating in Asia is that some men are over here looking for a specific female stereotype: The bubbly, young, submissive girl.

(And they’re often real mad when they don’t find what they’re looking for - because women arent one-dimensional like that.)

THE LESSON?

When a man tells you that you’re “too old” at 32, what he’s really saying is: I’m not ready to date a woman who knows who she is".

The truth is, women don’t get bitter with age, we get sharper. We set boundaries. We say no faster. We trust our gut. And to someone still looking for control, that’s not fun, that’s threatening. 

Remember, you're never too old. You’re just not what they rehearsed in their fantasy. 

Dating abroad will test your patience and your self-esteem but don’t confuse the wrong culture - or the wrong guy - with the wrong you. 

It’s a numbers game. Keep going.

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